YES::YES : jonathan dot nail at gmail dot com : instagram : twitter : facebook : etc

fuk; haven't blogged for ages, fuk

fuk. tbc.

» March 6, 2014; 12:24

gambino excerpt (draft)

Finally, a hip-hop concept record about The Internet.

Disses on The W3C and how they fucking sold out their moral obligations with that whole Encrypted Media Extension proposal. Joyous party-club tracks about the decreasing popularity of Internet Explorer and the subsequent (slow) rise of HTML5 standards. A few clever references to encoding issues with JSON strings. Cache rules everything around me? Maybe. Surely, at least a pun about "dropping the SoapClient" in reference to an over-complicated beat and/or your recent prison stint for not setting a stricter pass/key cryptographic hash function in your API.

Except this isn't a record about The Internet, this is a record about Surfing The World Wide Web. It's about memes, trolls, tumblring and connecting weak metaphors between online and offline existence.

This is kind of like making a bluegrass record about tractors. But not about how tractors function though, or the fantastically useful role they play in our society, but rather just how loud and cool they are. Tractor operators, although maintaining some form of undefinable emotional relationship with the actual music, would undoubtedly be annoyed at the missed opportunity.

» January 30, 2014; 11:01

consumption; january, 2014

In some form of order:

  1. Rake, Season 2 (2012)
  2. The Wolf Of Wall Street (2013)
  3. Citizen X (1995)
  4. True Detective, Season 1 (2014)
  5. The World's End (2013)
  6. Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)
  7. This Is The End (2013)
  8. Girls, Season 3 (2013)
  9. Gravity (2013)
  10. The Frozen Ground (2013)
  11. Elysium (2013)
  12. Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (2013)
  13. The Wolverine (2013)

» January 29, 2014; 20:38

step 6

Cass was right about 'plant sunburn'.

Mike was right about jQuery.

Matt was right about The Eric André Show.

James was right about Modern Giant.

Bella was right about QI.

Rav was right about Jason Molina.

WIP.

» January 16, 2014; 13:30

it's pretty easy to feel guilty about anything

Walk into the toilets of this office post-3pm and you're guaranteed to me politely greeted by a uniquely toxic excremental beast, fighting it's way from the bowels of a cubicle cowboy. Weighing a hefty 17.6kg, this creature is made up almost entirely of re-processed (organic!) Beach Burrito, NYE fad diet remedies and a few litres of this city's finest Soy Decaf. Pure filth. Up-inside-yer-nostrils public sewage stench.

Not that I've ever had to inhale the odour omitted by public sewage.

Because I live in the 1st World.

Where we have functioning bathrooms within walking distance of our desks.

Desks in the offices where we work. And get paid to do so.

» January 9, 2014; 16:07

fml.sql

[root@paradise.org]# myisamchk _con_postmeta.MYI
Checking MyISAM file: _con_postmeta.MYI
Data records: 213040
Deleted blocks: 3
myisamchk: warning: Table is marked as crashed and last repair failed
- check file-size
- check record delete-chain
- check key delete-chain
- check index reference
- check data record references index: 1
myisamchk: error: Found 73 keys of 213040
- check record links
myisamchk: error: Keypointers and record positions doesn't match
MyISAM-table '_con_postmeta.MYI' is corrupted
Fix it using switch "-r" or "-o"

[root@paradise.org]# myisamchk -r _con_postmeta.MYI
- recovering (with sort) MyISAM-table '_con_postmeta.MYI'
Data records: 213040
myisamchk: error: Can't create new tempfile: '_con_postmeta.TMD'
MyISAM-table '_con_postmeta.MYI' is not fixed because of errors
Try fixing it by using the --safe-recover (-o), the --force (-f) option or by not using the --quick (-q) flag

[root@paradise.org]# myisamchk --safe-recover _con_postmeta.MYI
- recovering (with keycache) MyISAM-table '_con_postmeta.MYI'
Data records: 213040
myisamchk: error: Can't create new tempfile: '_con_postmeta.TMD'
MyISAM-table '_con_postmeta.MYI' is not fixed because of errors
Try fixing it by using the --safe-recover (-o), the --force (-f) option or by not using the --quick (-q) flag

[root@paradise.org]# myisamchk --force _con_postmeta.MYI
Checking MyISAM file: _con_postmeta.MYI
Data records: 213040
Deleted blocks: 3
myisamchk: warning: Table is marked as crashed and last repair failed
- check file-size
- check record delete-chain
- check key delete-chain
- check index reference
- check data record references index: 1
myisamchk: error: Found 73 keys of 213040
- recovering (with sort) MyISAM-table '_con_postmeta.MYI'
Data records: 213040
- Fixing index 1
- Fixing index 2
- Fixing index 3
- Fixing index 4
....

» January 9, 2014; 15:07

These Legs (Part 1)

These legs are the primary transportation vehicle. Swollen in sections, their appearance alters daily dependent on a number of factors - temperature, the volume of humidity in the atmosphere and the amount of energy they've exerted within that specific hour.

And those disgusting throbbing veins, like a Porno Penis preparing for penetration. The cement footpath is the metaphorical cunt. Hardly a co-operative partner, but also not purposefully resilient. Just there.

For a long time, these grotesque legs were covered up, an embarrassingly disproportionate element of the unimpressive human form they're attached to. Not exactly sure what changed, but now they're rarely hidden, displayed as evidence of effort. They're ego-empowering pistons and false advertisements for superior strength.

People shoot these legs hatred glances as they pass. They wonder why they've wasted 120 hours that week in the gym doing leg curls only to be left with inferior limbs. Curls don't get girls, and neither does a genetic disposition to easily generate muscle. But at least it creates something funny to look at.

» January 8, 2014; 16:06

More

January, 2014
» Mount that Horse/Disk

August, 2013
» We're gonna need a bigger clipboard

July, 2013
» Fargo + Wordpress
» BLUGLIFE.
» OK . Just testing out Fargo RSS -> JYY
» This is the first blog post...

March, 2013
» process
» _blank

February, 2013
» hello world

December, 2012
» stu + sarah
» nyc 2012 ~ part 1 ~ east village

August, 2012
» hibernation, part 1

May, 2012
» july 22, 2006

April, 2012
» alex + erica
» gem's birthday weekend

March, 2012
» bummers

February, 2012
» coast2coast

January, 2012
» minor tang
» slonty

December, 2011
» never not
» berlin, november, 2010

November, 2011
» whiskey club

October, 2011
» white wedding
» bloody struth

August, 2011
» winners
» old new not much

June, 2011
» maybach highway

May, 2011
» beautiful dunks
» ugly dunks

April, 2011
» canbrrrrrra
» all of the lights + moving + scott's 30th

March, 2011
» newcastle upon tyne
» golden city warriors
» shire checklist

February, 2011
» clunge warriors
» nyc part 4: google hymens + chocolate bridges
» nyc part 3: natural highs + pizza nights
» nyc part 2: towers + caves + baths

January, 2011
» those pee wee panda summer vibes
» nyc part 1: knicks + phoenixes
» the first of the summer wine
» lil' b turns twenty one
» movies (2011)

December, 2010
» san francisco

October, 2010
» soulheven

September, 2010
» float:leeft
» five great pieces of advice about new york from scott
» life. coach. i mean, couch.
» DIE! DIE! DIE! ANTI-PRESS RELEASE PRESS RELEASE + BIO (DRAFT #1)

August, 2010
» world tour 2010
» melbourne
» gangstaglitter
» eight more years

July, 2010
» fanging for august
» hot stubble, moist warfare
» i will cum down on life's face

June, 2010
» i tried to buy some hard drives today
» m.o.b
» todo-this-week.txt
» eat, drink, fuc

May, 2010
» thuggglife
» life is easy
» whales
» i didn't take any photos at the julian casawankas show
» brandy

April, 2010
» i'm a gut's only (osaka pt. 2)
» goodbye cas500
» shit i found while emptying out my wallet (April 12, 2010)
» producing the image of adult lifestyle in the den (nara)
» it's cream, take a brave (osaka pt. 1)

March, 2010
» the last of the summer grind
» MONOTONIX

February, 2010
» adventure clubs
» flashbacks: australia day 2005
» flashbacks: falls festival 2006
» rabbits, beasts and johnstons
» live n let live

January, 2010
» midnight deadshit radio
» best two 4 one t-shirt purchase of 2010
» living large like big pun
» further of the left
» xmas/nye/etc
» circle pits

December, 2009
» wedding day
» casiogong for the painfully agong
» honeymoonin'

September, 2009
» space capsule
» bottle (no hose)

August, 2009
» you might as well call it a comeback